I’ve done my share of hallucinogenics.
The first time I took acid I was in high school, and I dosed with my friend Jennifer. I only remember two things clearly from that afternoon: staring at the top of my Starbucks Frapuccino and getting scolded by Jennifer because my attention to that swirl of whipped cream and caramel was definitely outside the realm of normal, and falling into the same dazed space while staring at the Windows screensaver on my friend’s computer.
Jennifer and I made good tripping buddies, for the short time we had together. We made good buddies, full stop, and she inspired me to be creative. That’s a trait I treasure most highly—and find so rarely—in relationships.
Then, post high school, I didn’t dive into my psyche with hallucinogens for a good while.
Well…there was that one night at a Rainbow Gathering, but it was weird and awkward and I’m totally not counting it. Moving on.
It wasn’t until after my divorce, a little over two years ago, that I touched any kind of mind-expanding substance again.
I was talking with a woman at the community here yesterday about her spiritual path, and my own. She asked me if I’d worked with the medicine—specifically Ayahuasca—anywhere other than in the context of the community and it’s programs. I told her I hadn’t, but it had been my experimentation with mushrooms that reintroduced me to God. She laughed, and said that had been her experience, too, although the details differ, of course.
It’s a cliche, isn’ it? Take a hit of acid, chew a cap of amanitas, brew some peyote tea, and listen to God.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m a cliche in many ways. I got young—got divorced. I got divorced—went to India to ‘find myself’. I took mushrooms—I got reacquainted with God. Throw in a healthy dose of commitment phobia, crazy cat lady antics, and my yoga and we’ve got a full-blown middle class white girl on our hands.
But I digress.
The whole reason I’m writing about hallucinogenics is because of where I am. This community is focused on working with sacred plants, namely Ayahuasca and Huachuma, in order to develop an expansion of consciousness and a relationship with Great Spirit. There’s more to it than that, but that’s a big part.
Unlike my backseat trip in high school, though, there is a very, very solid structure and approach used when taking these particular hallucinogenics. There is a respect for the plant that I was missing when I lost myself in my Frappuccinno. Then, it was fun. This…this is work. There are fun aspects, because life has fun aspects. At it’s core, though, it’s not about escaping from reality, but rather about tapping deeper into reality. The reality being, in this perspective, that we are all spiritual beings put on this material plane for a purpose, and it’s up to us to pull on our boots, and let Spirit guide us down that sometimes rocky, uphill trail of that purpose.
It’s a practice in faith. In surrender. And I’ll be the first to admit I’m not there yet. My hands are tucked in my pockets and I’m eyeing that mountain with a fair bit of mistrust. Because we don’t have to climb. We have a choice in the matter. I’m not sure what I’ll choose next.
What would you choose?