The Magic of Being Willing

 

Photo used under CC license from Peter Gorges
 Things rarely work out the way you expect them to. The boyfriend who seemed all charm turns out to be half snake. The job you though held such promise hides pits of bitterness. The friend you thought was your soulmate throws you away. 

Things rarely work out the way you expect them to. Friends of friends who end up, somehow, closer than family. The relationship you thought was doomed blossoms into a rare and breathtaking example of love. The heart you thought had stopped beating slowly stutters awake. 

In order to see and experience the amazing things life has to offer, you have to be willing to risk that you might end up with pain. If you don’t risk the pain though, how much of life are you missing out on?

How much of life have I missed out on, because of fear? Because I didn’t want to get hurt, or hurt someone else? Because I didn’t think I could do whatever I felt I needed to do?

It’s easy to get trapped in that loop of what if, which is just as stultifying as the loop of I’m scared. I’ve cycled these tracks, and others, of course, my whole life. I still do, and I will tomorrow and probably until the day I die. 

What I’m learning, though, is how to be willing. How to face the risk, look it in the eye, and say YES. Give me your best shot and let’s see what we can make out of this opportunity. 

Cassie, if you read this, I want to thank you. The notecard you gave me at CW was my first affirmation, and you helped me learn so much about life, as I built off small cues you gave me. It sounds weird, as I write it, but it makes sense in my head and I’m grateful. 

It’s not easy. It’s probably the hardest thing I’ve had to learn in my life, and the best. I learned a long time ago how to shut part of myself away for protection, because doing anything else hurt too damn much. Until it got to where holding myself back hurt worse than the alternative. I had to get off the nail and start healing. Which hurts and stings and pinches and eventually leaves you with a scar and a story and, maybe, a little bit of wisdom. 

Lovelovelove you all,

Sarah

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2 thoughts on “The Magic of Being Willing

  1. Diatryma says:

    I’m terrible at finding and following blogs, but I have finally started reading backward through yours. You’re welcome, and thank you.–C

    Like

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